13 Things Mentally Strong Parents Don't Do by Amy Morin
- Amazon
- Promote responsibility and perseverance over victim mentality. Empowered to handle things themselves, hold them accountable. Chores. Resolve conflicts themselves.
- No avoidance, teach kids healthy ways to handle guilt and fear. Self-reliance, teach kids what they need to flourish instead of trying to protect them.
- Set strong boundaries to avoid entitlement. Praise effort, gratitude at dinner table, experiences of awe, clear hierarchy, follow through with consequences, rewards instead of bribes, united front with partner
- Don’t expect perfection or intervene with each mistake to avoid perfectionism. Strive for excellence, not perfection. Compliment sandwich, don’t be a helicopter parent.
- Don’t shelter child from pain.
- Don’t prevent them from experiencing spectrum of human emotion. Talk about emotions, have them talk about theirs and describe feelings. Use specific feeling words like nervous and angry.
- Understand difference between discipline and punishment. Clear expectations and reward system. Avoid quick fixes and shortcuts. Teach them to set goals.
- Actions match values. Altruistic.